The Enduring Wonderland of My Heart: Reflecting on My Youthful Essence

In many ways, my heart remains larger than my brain or mind. I see a fairy tale in nature, and I believe in gnomes, dwarfs, and angels. My romantic side is always active, and I still embrace the magic of love.

Childhood Wonders and Dreams

As a child, I lay awake on the eve of my birthday, wondering what kind of person and what I would feel like the next day. At eight years old, I found the experience equally exciting and a bit disappointing, waking up at 33 feeling no different inside. These thoughts persisted as a young teenager, and I often dreamed about living by myself, with a partner, and maybe someday being a parent. I wondered if these milestones would change me internally, if the voice in my head would mature. Even now, at 32, I marvel that I remain largely unchanged, except for a bit more wisdom and patience.

The intriguing aspect is that I always imagined a significant change needed to move from childhood to adulthood, a palatial gateway marking my transition. Yet, that change never appeared. Gradual changes came, mostly as a result of mental challenges and life experiences, but my essence—a term some might describe as the inner voice that I hear, remained remarkably the same.

Childhood Qualities Persist Through Adulthood

To this day, I retain many of the same qualities that I exhibited as a child. My empathy towards all living beings remains, and I continue to mask discomfort with humor. I still try to find the good in most situations and, above all, I still love a good story. In some respects, I think I repeat myself, expressing the same sentiments that I have for years. Yet, I am also a creative genius, recalling every detail from that day when I was five, with only one exception—the Clift memory loss from my mother's side. I firmly remain an atheist.

Conclusion

Despite the passage of time, my youthful spirit endures. I remain a reflective being, filled with wonder and a perpetual curiosity about life. The eternal quest for love, magic, and understanding keeps me grounded in the simplicity of my childhood beliefs.

Now, I invite you to reflect on your own journey, pondering how much of your inner self remains the same, and how different memories have shaped you. May you persist in embracing the magic and mystery of your own inner world.